Glass Half Untouched

  This article is neither about the god nor about the literal meaning of the god complex. The god complex that I want to talk about today can be understood through the concept of the pedestal (the base or support on which a statue, obelisk, or column is mounted, as per Oxford Languages) on which the god is kept.  Pedestal What I have observed so far about the relationship between the god and a devotee is that it consists of majorly two components – offering your faith and seeking power or strength from the god or from the faith that you offer to god. You can offer your faith or seek strength in whatever shape or form, of course. One cannot deny the power dynamic there. Two distinct levels where the god always stands tall. And funnily, even though the question often arises - whether the god exists, nobody, for a second, questions the existence of the pedestal on which the god exists. This pedestal is built with our faith and expectations. And you know what I am talking ...

I am standing in the middle of the street in water. Not a puddle of water. Seemingly unending spread of water covering the land as far as I can see. It is moving. It is rising. I don't know where it came from. I don't think it was there a moment ago. Or was it? I can't be sure. Everything looks grim and gray. Not the black and white gray but gray of uncertainty and chaos.  Everything is out of order. People are running in all directions. Seemingly trying to save themselves. And I wonder if this is how the end looks like.  It is barely drizzling now but every droplet comes with a promise. It comes even if it knows it isn't welcome. There is already plenty of it; on our streets, in our homes, in our eyes. There is nothing we call ours that could welcome these droplets. Yet the droplets come with an unwelcome insistence to take over and I feel numb all over. I know I have to join the chaos around me soon. I will have to run in some direction to get somewhere where I will f...

  Glass  half  overlooked Link to Part 1 -  https://glasshalfuntouched.blogspot.com/2020/08/overlooked-series-parts-0-1.html Link to Part 2 & 3 -  https://glasshalfuntouched.blogspot.com/2020/09/overlooked-series-parts-2-3.html Link to Part 4 -  https://glasshalfuntouched.blogspot.com/2020/09/overlooked-series-part-4.html 5.  Let go (December 2017) Today was the day. There was nothing particularly special about the day. It started out like any other day except maybe she woke up a little bit happier and lighter. She could not think of any particular reason behind it. Maybe she was just tired of the haunting shadows, maybe she had consumed an extra pill of courage last night, maybe she just wanted to end this year unapologetically, or maybe a combination of all of the above. Who cares about the reason! What mattered was that she had a good feeling about today. Almost 19 months had passed since Charu had suggested that they become friends. It was ...

  Glass  half  overlooked Link to Part 1 -  https://glasshalfuntouched.blogspot.com/2020/08/overlooked-series-parts-0-1.html Link to Part 2 & 3 -  https://glasshalfuntouched.blogspot.com/2020/09/overlooked-series-parts-2-3.html 4. They meet (May 2016) Charu rushed to get to the office. Why is the t rain so late today? Bus…bus is late!! I am standing near the bus stop. What is wrong with me today? She glanced at her watch again and again, without actually seeing the time, thinking about what she will do once she reaches Seva Sadan. What is the time? She finally glanced at her watch to actually register the time. She smiled to herself thinking she will go mad one day juggling all these chores. But whom was she kidding? Though she was flustered, she definitely wasn't frustrated with it. Instead, she was ecstatic. All she ever wanted was to be self-reliant and encourage others to do the same. Now, she had it all. Her simple yet not so simple life was bliss. ...

  ×××××××××@××××.com [Draft 68]   Dear Amma,   This letter won’t reach you like most of the others, but I wanted to talk to you. Although I do talk to you regularly, I know you will deny it because most of the times it doesn’t reach you. It’s always easier to reach out through these unsaid words. I can share so many things that I can't say out loud.   Hopefully, this is one of my last letters. I can’t continue like this, Amma. I am so tired.   I am tired of dreading to wake up every morning. I am tired of crying at the thought of getting out of bed. Going to the office every day should not be this hard. At least, it wasn’t before. I am tired of hiding my tears so that my colleagues won’t see them. It’s becoming overwhelming day-by-day to spend time with my colleagues and friends knowing that I will have to pretend to be okay in front of them.   I am running out of excuses as to why I can't join my colleagues for lunch or in their pla...

Glass half overlooked Link to Part 1 -  https://glasshalfuntouched.blogspot.com/2020/08/overlooked-series-parts-0-1.html 2. A letter (June 2015) Dear Charu, It feels strange to write 'dear' before your name since we hardly know each other. And I have deliberately kept it that way. Because somehow, I feel like it doesn't matter how much we bond. I know that I can never be truly honest with you about how I feel and what I want. Not just about us but about everything. I can't be honest to anyone for that matter. Please don't take it personally. Please don't take any of this personally. And this marriage... Huh... I can't even say don't take this marriage personally. I wish I was brave enough. Brave enough to accept myself. Brave enough to say yes to myself. Brave enough to say no to this marriage. Brave enough to give this letter to you. Brave enough to save you from this quicksand. But how can I? I couldn’t even save myself. I am not even br...

  Glass half overlooked 0. A r equest This is something new that I am trying out. It will be a series of short stories. The numbers in the title will let you what part you are on. This is just to help you keep track of the series, in case I post other blogs in between, or if you start from say, 2nd or 3rd part. You can always go back and check out the first part. Although the stories are fictional, the quotes supporting the stories are real sentiments of really brilliant and non-fictional personalities. Feel free to search these names and their accounts. There is more to it. You will notice traces of transphobia in, around, and all over these stories. Trace those traces. Don't be afraid to trace them to yourself. I know you have those traces because I have them too. I grew up with transphobia and I have to admit that writing these stories, while acknowledging & keeping those biases at bay, was a difficult task and a learning process. So, if you are a trans person or an...