“Maa… Maaaa! I
am making tea. Will you have some now or later?”
Maa sometimes shared a cup of tea with me in the late afternoon. I shouted this question while already holding a vessel under the tap. There was no response. The vessel was filling fast.
"Maaa"
"..."
"Maaaaa"
"..."
"Mummyyyy"
"..."
I reluctantly
shut the tap and left the vessel on the countertop to see what my mother was
doing. It was unlike of her to sleep at this hour and especially such a deep
sleep which didn't get disturbed with my first call.
I went to look for her and checked the
washroom first. Perhaps, she was not able to answer because she was inside. She
didn't like answering her name calls while she was in the washroom. Apparently,
the ‘whole building’ need not know that she was in the washroom!
Not finding her
in the washroom, with peaked interest, I went to her room and there she was!.
In a corner, with her back towards me. She had apparently borrowed my
headphones and was watching something on her phone. And if I wasn't wrong, she
was silently crying.
Urghhh... Not
again!
"Maaa",
this time I said it loudly and firmly, in my 'mom' voice. Startled, she jumped
in her place and quickly turned around. Once she realized it was just me, she
started fumbling with the phone and headphones.
"You are
watching Baghban again, aren't you", I asked rhetorically.
"Ummm"
"Maa, just
how many times are you going to watch that movie? I am sure you have already
watched it at least 25 times. And how can you cry every time you watch it. Ohh,
let me guess. Someone's children moved away again?"
Maa just nodded
with her head down wiping her tears. Maybe those were lingering Baghban tears
but looking at her like that, I immediately felt bad for practically scolding
her.
"OK. If you
are feeling sad, how about we just talk
about it?"
"Alright"
"So, Maa
tell me. What happened?"
"Look… I am
not exactly sad. It's just that... Reema and Naren weren't ready for this. They
asked their son to stay here but there was a great opportunity in the US and he
was getting a promotion so it became very complicated…
Reema was
continuously crying when I visited them."
"But their
daughter is still here right? In the same city? Just half an hour away, I
guess?"
"But she is
married. They can't rely on her."
One look at my
face made her rephrase that.
"Not my
words. They said they can't rely."
"And why
Baghban?"
"Because!
Look, I know it's a film. It is supposed to be fiction and not real. But then
something like this happens…"
"Are you
worried that...you know...this can happen in our family?"
"No I am not”, her response came quickly but then she lingered, “But you never know… Reema and Naren did not see it coming either and I don't want to say it but Amitabh and Hema also..."
"Maaaa..."
"Alright.
Alright. Let it be."
"No, it's
ok. Let's talk about Baghban. If we are comparing, let’s do it properly. If we
are looking at children, let’s compare the parents also. Achha, tell me this,
how many times have you actually waited for Papa at the door with freshly made
tea and snacks; let alone every day? Yes, you are a homemaker but you have
passionately continued your job and maintained your hobbies at the same time.
Let’s not forget that. Of course, you may have compensated with your own health
for that at times and we might have something to do with that. But let's leave
that discussion for another day. My point is that I have also seen days when
you used to come home late and Papa made tea. And the times when he cooked. He
handled everything without any qualms when you had to go out of town for work.
It’s something that I don’t find relatable at all with Baghban."
"Pch… See,
I know that but…"
"Ok then
let’s look at the children moving away since we were just talking about it.
Remember how you took a strict stance when I got an opportunity to go abroad
for 2 years? I was not so sure but you convinced me that I should take up the
challenge. And if you are worried that you will be left all alone with nothing
to do after your children 'fly away', that's not going to happen. Let’s face
it. Both you and Papa are retired yet you are busier than your children. You
are so engaged in other activities that you hardly spend quiet days at
home."
"OK, OK.
Alright. I understand that. What I don’t understand is why you are so worked up
about Baghban?"
"Because
Maa...”, I sighed. The initial high of adrenaline slowly left my body and my
shoulders must have visibly dropped because I could immediately feel Maa’s hand
on my shoulder. I continued,
“It’s not only
hard on parents. It’s difficult for children too. I see my friends and
colleagues struggle with it like you do. And the movie tells & glorifies
only one side of the story. It sort of gives validation to parents like
Reema aunty and Naren uncle who feel abandoned when the children move
away."
"Are you
saying that parents shouldn’t feel abandoned when their children leave?
Children actually do abandon their old parents, you know? I agree it is a film
and they may have not portrayed it correctly, but that story is not that far
from the painful reality that surrounds us where children just leave their old
parents on the street."
“I agree. But it
depends on every family, every situation Maa. I am not saying children don’t
abandon their parents but there is a difference between abandoning and moving away.
And in today's times, the world's getting closer and children are moving away to
grab the opportunities offered to them. No one is at fault here. What a family
can do is discuss and decide together how they want to plan it out. Every
member is accountable for the wellbeing of their family. But I don't get these
selfless responsibilities. Be it responsibilities of parents towards their
young kids or kids towards their old parents."
"Fair
enough. But you know it's easy to say; it's much more difficult to actually do
it. We learn these things while growing up, about how responsibilities work in
a family. Every family member has a role to play. How many families actually
sit together and discuss future plans, finances, or even feelings?"
"I know
Maaa. It's not easy but it's not right either."
With that, my
mother let out a loud sigh.
"Don't worry.
It will happen. Some day. With more conversations about Baghban", she
teased me while squeezing me with her arms around my slumped shoulders.
I snorted before
continuing,
"Ya I
guess. So, will you have tea now or later?"
"Later I
guess. Let me finish the movie first."
"What??
Maa? We just discussed- "
"The movie
is quite dramatic and let's face it, funny also at times. After that visit to
Reema’s house and this heavy conversation, what I need is entertainment."
"Hah. Ok,
I'll go have tea then and maybe join you for the funny parts.”
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