Glass Half Untouched

  ×××××××××@××××.com [Draft 68]   Dear Amma,   This letter won’t reach you like most of the others, but I wanted to talk to you. Although I do talk to you regularly, I know you will deny it because most of the times it doesn’t reach you. It’s always easier to reach out through these unsaid words. I can share so many things that I can't say out loud.   Hopefully, this is one of my last letters. I can’t continue like this, Amma. I am so tired.   I am tired of dreading to wake up every morning. I am tired of crying at the thought of getting out of bed. Going to the office every day should not be this hard. At least, it wasn’t before. I am tired of hiding my tears so that my colleagues won’t see them. It’s becoming overwhelming day-by-day to spend time with my colleagues and friends knowing that I will have to pretend to be okay in front of them.   I am running out of excuses as to why I can't join my colleagues for lunch or in their pla...

Glass half overlooked Link to Part 1 -  https://glasshalfuntouched.blogspot.com/2020/08/overlooked-series-parts-0-1.html 2. A letter (June 2015) Dear Charu, It feels strange to write 'dear' before your name since we hardly know each other. And I have deliberately kept it that way. Because somehow, I feel like it doesn't matter how much we bond. I know that I can never be truly honest with you about how I feel and what I want. Not just about us but about everything. I can't be honest to anyone for that matter. Please don't take it personally. Please don't take any of this personally. And this marriage... Huh... I can't even say don't take this marriage personally. I wish I was brave enough. Brave enough to accept myself. Brave enough to say yes to myself. Brave enough to say no to this marriage. Brave enough to give this letter to you. Brave enough to save you from this quicksand. But how can I? I couldn’t even save myself. I am not even br...

  Glass half overlooked 0. A r equest This is something new that I am trying out. It will be a series of short stories. The numbers in the title will let you what part you are on. This is just to help you keep track of the series, in case I post other blogs in between, or if you start from say, 2nd or 3rd part. You can always go back and check out the first part. Although the stories are fictional, the quotes supporting the stories are real sentiments of really brilliant and non-fictional personalities. Feel free to search these names and their accounts. There is more to it. You will notice traces of transphobia in, around, and all over these stories. Trace those traces. Don't be afraid to trace them to yourself. I know you have those traces because I have them too. I grew up with transphobia and I have to admit that writing these stories, while acknowledging & keeping those biases at bay, was a difficult task and a learning process. So, if you are a trans person or an...

Somewhere around 15 years ago… It was a lazy evening. Baba and I were half-lying, half-sitting on the sofa watching old Hindi songs. Because of my parents, I have always had a special fondness for old Hindi songs. As we sat there watching one of those black and white melodies, out of nowhere Baba said-  there is something about these black and white movies. Color movies are not just the same. Too many colors on the screen are confusing. Sometimes overwhelming.  For my under construction mind back then (I was only in 6th standard), it was too much to grasp. The fault was not really mine. Baba was being quite absurd. Baba grew up watching color movies. If my grandfather had said something like that, I could have understood. Blaming it on his age would have been easy. But what about Baba? I remember I had asked-  what do you mean by that. Baba, still lost in his thoughts, tried explaining but no luck. Finally, he had settled for-  leave it. I can't exp...

Disclaimer: Heavily influenced by Avengers: Age of Ultron yet hopefully relatable to everyone.  I just finished watching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Make no mistake. It wasn't the first time that I watched the movie. I have watched it enough number of times to look beyond the glorified characters and brilliantly choreographed action sequences this time. And because I have watched it enough number of times, watching it today, amidst lockdown with Covid-19 threatening my world, made my mind wander from the bewitchment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  Well, I can't give all the credit to Marvel. Today, my day started with a discussion with my parents about how there are conflicting views about the lockdown. Because it definitely came at a cost. Then somewhere in the middle of the day, my wonderful friend texted reminding me that today is the one-year anniversary of Avengers: Endgame. We ended up discussing who would have thought that one year later our world would be at ...

"Sujay...my boy... How are you?" I turned as my name was called and saw my boss approaching. "I am doing well sir. How are you?" "Good. Good. Tell me, are you enjoying the party? Have you eaten anything?" "Yes, sir." "Good... That's what these office parties are for. Eating and drinking,” lifting a glass in his hand, he continued, “I hope, Seema is here too. I always tell you to bring her and you never listen to me." "No sir, it’s not like that. But she is here today, sir." I started looking for my wife and found her standing exactly behind my boss at a distance. She was talking to a man. I didn't seem to recognize him. "Ummm... Sir, I think she has already made a friend here". My boss, who had followed my line of vision, looked back at me. "Well, that's good. Because I have brought someone to meet you so you can have a friend of your own". "Razaa, can you ...